So, you may have noticed some things were weird this summer… “wow she seems to be home, like, A LOT.”
Yup. I gave myself a grown-up timeout. Last school year, and especially during the springtime, I was doing too fucking much. And I was writing post after post about my health, my inability to do it all, how I couldn’t have it all, and how I needed to really be reminded to focus on self care.
I was still doing all the things. And I was losing it. I was so, so, so tired. I was grumpy. I was saying yes to everything when my insides were screaming NO NO NO. All of the things were good and fulfilling: writing, work, running, community theater, dating, kids, volunteering. But my rope was short and becoming more so by the day– I was about to crack.
So I did a thing. I admitted it. I told my boss that I was just overwhelmed by ALL THE THINGS and proposed time off. I also started saying no. To everything and everyone. I narrowed my “yes” list way, way, way down: me, kids, new man-friend. And added Game of Thrones. Cause Jon Snow.
Hear me on this: I took 7 weeks off this summer and actually no one died.
I returned today and as it turns out– they didn’t need me to keep the world spinning. That whole giant universe resting on my shoulders? Not actually a thing. Good, smart people made great choices and just made due (very, very successfully) while I took some time for self care.
Are they glad I’m back? Most likely.
Cause there are things I do, people I manage and decisions I help make that are important. But nothing crumbled. Nothing came to a grinding halt.
And now, will I encourage them to make a big decision around their own self care? Absolutely.
This summer, I let myself just BE. I gave myself permission to not run as much and eat a little more ice cream. To say yes to a camping trip with the new man-friend and a bunch of folks I didn’t know. To binge watch GoT and take naps. To take date days with little boys and really enjoy them. To write or not write as I felt compelled.
At the time I was contemplating this time off, it felt HUGE. It felt like, there is NO WAY I can ask for this for myself. But, when I took the leap and it was received with a YES, I felt the biggest weight just lift off my shoulders. The several weeks of looking forward to it were ALMOST better than the actual time off; it was the knowing it was out there. Knowing there was a reprieve coming.
Friends, what’s one thing you could do today to remove a burden you are carrying? Can you ask for help? Can you accept a favor? Do you need some time away? Do you need to eat rich food and not care about the calories? Do you need a long walk with your dog?
Whatever the thing is that’s secretly lurking in your heart, can you take a step toward it today?
Do it. Just do the thing.