Tiny Shifts

Screen Shot 2015-05-29 at 7.47.10 PMA wonderful, soulful friend shared an article with me today– about purpose. About finding your place in the world, telling us that perhaps, rather than seeking to take it all by storm, the real work is in quietly moving your little puzzle pieces around bit by bit, to gradually, gently shape the world. And of course there’s this gorgeous reference to a small garden and its caregiver. As I am all about the garden metaphors these days- and still in wonder at the growth of ours- I paid attention.

Lately, I am finding purpose in the small, quiet corners of life. Like a glint of sun at just the right angle warming my face, or the rich giggle of my littlest boy– just small victories in a big, strange world. I’ve written, thought, raged, laughed, cried and wondered at the hand I’ve been dealt over the past several months. I shared it on stage- and called it a “perspective party” and “an invitation from God.” When I wrote those words, I don’t think I really realized how right and how poignant they were and would be. I didn’t realize how some days the word CANCER still seems etched on my heart– especially with the news that actually I had the NOT easy, kind of “good” cancer. I didn’t broadcast it, but of course my little spots of cancer were the weird, rare, aggressive form of thyroid cancer. Still no change in prognosis or treatment, but just slightly more burn in my chest on the days when it feels most surface-ish. The experience of spiraling through the weird, murky world of sickness and healing has made me feel a little schizophrenic… like on the one hand, I MUST DO ALL THE THINGS; fix the world, make my mark, change the planet and save all of her creatures! And in the next breath, I want to get really quiet. Like quiet enough to hear the swoosh of a butterfly as he flutters across my face. So quiet that I can hear the small, still voice inside saying “it’s ok, I’m here too, rest a while.”

So, when my incredible friend sent along this article it was a reminder that I am already doing things small, medium and big to change the world– and that each tiny change starts with me. It starts with being humble, honest and genuine. It starts in my home. It starts with creating a safe and loving environment for my boys. It starts with those little seeds we planted in our backyard that are now long, green vines reaching for the sun. It starts with having a dream and being brave and just slightly crazy enough to give it a try. It starts with following your gut instinct, supported by the small, still voice.

It’s sort of incredible the journey we’re all being sent on each and every day and it’s so easy to get sucked into a place of “WHY ME?!” about it all. But the land of WHY ME is not a land in which you take up residence, it’s for temporary pause and a rest break– until you feel strong enough to move forward to the town of tiny, meaningful action. To a place where you reach out and make yourself vulnerable and open to a dear old friend. Who in turn sends you articles on purpose and truth. To a place where you smile at strangers because well, their day might just be a little worse than yours. I feel like I have purchased my ticket out of WHY ME-ville… I’ve put my perspectacles on and am ready to make tiny shifts in my own place. To bloom where I am planted– with the little seeds I’ve been given.

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