Grownups argue.

Babies. So this weekend, as with some other weekends in life, your Papa and I spent a chunk of it arguing. Or rather, IN an argument, because a lot of it was spent not talking. But then we did talk, perhaps loudly, and Big One, it upset you. Here’s the deal in life: people mess up, sometimes REALLY big, and people who love them give them chances. I have this really bad habit of seeing things in black and white; like all right or all wrong. The truth is, life is so messy and it’s mostly grey area and so we have to allow people to live in that space. No one in this house is perfectly perfect all the time, or at all and that’s ok. The thing is, he and I both messed up and we talked about it. And while I still don’t think we agree, we moved on and we decided for what feels like the millionth time, to put one foot in front of the other and just. keep. walking.

I am reading Cheryl Strayed’s book “Wild” right now about her hiking the Pacific Crest Trail and it’s striking me that her walking that trail with its unexpected snow, boots that are too small and painful, less money than she needs and overall discomfort, are a whole lot like choosing to live a life of relatedness and love. A life in a partnership and especially a life with kids. That sounds really negative, sorry. Keep reading. My point is that she is also learning about this inner strength she has. These muscles she didn’t know could be there and seeing mountains and sky that are literally breathtaking. The peaks and valleys of this life of ours are breathtaking and awe-inspiring; every time one of you does something new, or I hear you laugh together, or your Papa kisses me, I realize that we are good. So good. We’re just on this crazy trail, moving forward and just doing our best to stay on that path without falling off the sheer, rocky, terrifying precipice. In fact, most of the time, we seem to have our footing.

So forgive us our trespasses babies. We’re doing our damndest to not screw you up. Or only screw you up to the point that you’re interesting and worldly. K?

Love you,

Mom

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